In the basement, Marv shook himself into consciousness. Every muscle in his body ached – not to mention the cuts. ‘AAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH’ In the bathroom mirror, Harry saw the back his head engulfed in fire.
There are TWO novelizations of Home Alone films, and Slacktory contributor Joe Rumrill read both of them.
Turns out, wacky slapstick doesn’t translate well to young adult literature. The boobytrap passages read like gritty horror novels.
Read the rest of our favorite quotes at The “Home Alone” novelizations are horrifying torture porn