“Girls are always quite taken with how my room is decorated (messy, to the point of squalor), which gets them in the mood (frustrated, you know, with the squalor) even before we get down to doing “the deed” (cleaning my room before even considering sleeping with me).”—"I have the best room ever" by Joe Rumrill on Slacktory
“Scar is a good leader, but there was nothing that he could do when a drought ravaged the land. The water dried up, and the food supplies dwindled shortly afterwards. Simba hears of this devastation, and decides that the timing might be right to return from exile and make a play for the throne.”—/r/FanTheories: 'The Lion King' is pro-Simba propaganda
The subjects of various country songs politely respond to the original singers. Here’s a sample from a judge’s reply to “Before He Cheats”:
Miss Underwood, the fact remains that when you “dug your key” into the side of “his pretty little souped-up 4-wheel drive,” you engaged in an act of vandalism as the pickup truck is obviously valued at more than the $400 required for this felony charge. Guilt is clear in this case. We turn now to a punishment that fits the crime.
Other songs with replies: “Friends in Low Places”, “Folsom Prison Blues”, “Strawberry Wine”, and “Goodbye Earl”.
Want to make sure you have the BEST Super Bowl party? We’ve got all the tips, whether you’re hosting the party, or just showing up and eating someone else’s food. Here’s a sample:
Do not grow cranky and wonder aloud when the piñata will be brought out. It is sadly not that type of party.
There’s nothing that ruins a Super Bowl party quicker than an electronics malfunction right in the middle of the game. This is why you should make certain that the radio you’ll all be listening to the game over has FRESH tubes and capacitors.
If there are women at the party, be kind and courteous and ask them if they’d care to “have the next waltz.” Don’t be a sucker and miss your chance for a smooch after the big Charleston contest they’re sure to hold during half-time!